change.

I`m ready for change. I`m ready for something new,something different about the way I live my life.I wish to do this because I am obviously doing something wrong. I don`t need to be negative,I don`t need to give into any sortof evil desires,and I most certainly don`t need to put others down. I`d like God to take control,to lead me in the right direction that`s different from this one. I`m not living my life for him,and that needs to change now. I long for strength,courage,determination, and purity. I think it`s about time I try to do the right thing God would want instead of what I want.cuz I`m not the in control here,He is.I`ve made so many mustakes and committed soo many sins.tI`m ready to allow God to work om.

Very Confused.

I feel confused. Very, very confused. On January 1st, 2010. What a great way to start off the new year right?

I'm getting myself into something new. Something I thought I really wanted, but now I feel like God is giving me the answers that are showing me that maybe I shouldn't be here.
I hate that a certain someone won't get out of my head, after all this time. It's been so long. Why can't this go away? I hate it.

At the same time, positive things are going on. I felt God fill the spaces between my fingers with His. I felt His presence. I felt joy from Him. At a concert I went to not too long ago. Pure amazement. and if every day could be like that, life would be perfect<3

I really would like these insecurities to go away. They are making me go insane. Things don't have to be like this. I know what I'm here for, what I'm here to do. And all of those things have God as the center. How do I stay focused? How do I resist temptation? that is so very difficult for me right now. I feel terrible. I want to read my Bible more, and allow God to change my heart. many things need to change. so many things. and I can feel it.